


The Club Supporting Star-Crossed Buns

by ancient_new_box (Fumiko)



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Humor, Javert and Valjean won't know what hit them, Kink Meme, M/M, Matchmaking, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Valvert shippers end up in M-sur-M, might end up meta, sorry for that in advance, star-crossed buns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-10 12:16:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fumiko/pseuds/ancient_new_box
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Congratulations, all you fabulous and devoted Valvert shippers! You, through your unfailing dedication to The Cause, have won a seven day trip to the quaint but flourishing little town of Montreuil-sur-Mer. You find yourselves inhabiting the bodies of various citizens of Montreuil, from random workers at the factory to Monsieur le Maire's housekeeper, and ever Inspector Javert's landlady! For these seven days, you shall have access to all the memories of your host to make it through the day in 19th century France. Now all there is left to do is to enjoy your prize! You can't wait to watch the live show of your OTP making out, or exchanging secret glances and meaningful little smiles in the streets. But to your horror, you find that the dear Inspector is still distrustful and suspicious of the esteemed Mayor, while M. Madeleine "neither avoids Javert nor seek him out." This simply cannot be allowed to stand! There is only one thing to do. Gather your fellow shippers and plot and plan to bring these two stubborn men together at all cost, and all in the very limited time of seven days! __Les Mis Kink Meme, Round 3</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Icarus5800](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icarus5800/gifts).



> I don't even know why I am doing this. I totally blame Icarus5800 for this. However, I'll do my best to not make this into a horrible something. This is not something that should be taken all too seriously, I might add, if you haven't noticed already from the tags. Matchmaking by shippers is just too much fun to let this chance pass.
> 
> Our Shippers  
> -Javert’s landlady Jeanne Bonfaire -> Elinor Williams  
> -Valjean’s secretary Marie Oliviére -> Jesse Morgan  
> -Valjean’s housekeeper Helene Dupont -> Isabella Donovan  
> -worker at Valjean’s factory Fleur Chevalier -> Leslie Cooper  
> -wife of the town’s baker Gabrielle Picard -> Hannah Sheppard

The sound of a rooster hooting cut through the quiet darkness of Elinor’s sleep. Damn, already time to get up. The next moment she wondered since when they had a rooster in the neighbourhood and, more importantly, since when the dedicated in-sleeper orientated herself at a rooster’s cry for waking up. But no, really, she had to get up and prepare breakfast for- Hold that thought, she had to prepare breakfast for no one but herself. She lived on her own for two months now, after all. Still, she knew she had to prepare breakfast. She could not let the dear inspector go to work without a decent meal, he was always working so hard. Which inspector?! She knew no inspectors personally.

No, really, she had to get up, the inspector was an early riser and, although she was his landlady, not his housekeeper, thank you very much, she felt obliged to ensure his health. For there was nobody else who did.

So, with a self-loathing groan for her sense of duty, Elinor pushed herself up, crawling out of the thin sheet she had snuggled into. Since when was her sheet that thin? It took a moment’s time to notice that she had not slept in her bed, at all. At the edge of ‘freaking out like facing a zombie apocalypse’-modus, she took in her surroundings. A small, spartanic room which contained mostly wooden furniture and no single movie poster.

Yes, freaking out was definitely the next-best option in her mind. Until she noticed a piece of paper lying innocently on the night table. Curiously, she took up the sheet and read the text that was written on it in a crisp, neat handwriting, reminding her of one of the writing styles on Microsoft Word.

**_Congratulations, all you fabulous and devoted Valvert shippers! You, through your unfailing dedication to The Cause, have won a seven day trip to the quaint but flourishing little town of Montreuil-sur-Mer. You find yourselves inhabiting the bodies of various citizens of Montreuil, from random workers at the factory to Monsieur le Maire's housekeeper, and even Inspector Javert's landlady! For these seven days, you shall have access to all the memories of your host to make it through the day in 19th century France. Now all there is left to do is to enjoy your prize!_ **

To be honest, Elinor felt like fainting. Surely, this had to be a joke. Although, she had to give credits for the organization of the room. It looked very realistic. And there were those thoughts and memories tingling in the back of her mind. The life of another woman, of a Jeanne Bonfaire, currently landlady of no other than the infamous Inspector Javert. A disbelieving, slightly hysteric giggle escaped her lips and she closed her eyes, focusing on the memories.

Her daily routine was to get up and ready for the day, then prepare breakfast for Javert and herself, then she would attend to matters of the household or go to the market or whatever. She was a landlady. That was her job. She had begun renting the rooms after her youngest son had moved out.

Well, that was sufficient for the time being, so Elinor tackled the first matter: dressing. Soon she knew why she had been so happy to live in the twenty-first century: women did not have to wear bloody dresses! Hell, what an effort!

After what felt like an hour, she entered the kitchen and began to prepare breakfast. Usually not being an ambitious cook, the task was surprisingly easy. The subconscious memories of Jeanne were helping her a lot.

Finally she heard the wooden ground creaking softly. Her tenant was coming to join her in the kitchen. Elinor noticed that her heart began racing, she clenched her fingers around one of the mugs to prevent them from trembling.

“Good morning, Madame Bonfaire”, she heard the baritone voice greet her. It was rather strange to hear him speaking instead of singing.

She suppressed a very girlish ‘eek’ and went for a “Good morning, inspector”, instead, which came out a bit hoarsely. Scraping together all of her courage, she turned around and had to concentrate very hard on not fainting. In front of her stood friggin’ honest-to-god Inspector Javert. THE Inspector Javert. The three big Fs came to her mind. Unfortunately, Fangirling, Flailing and Freaking out weren’t the best options right now.

Instead, she went for a way too forced smile and offered him one of the cups with tea. He took it with an appreciative nod, though he frowned upon her shaking fingers. “Are you alright this morning, Madame?”, he inquired.

“Yes, of course”, Elinor smiled again and could not help herself. On the inside her inner fangirl was practically dying over and over again, she was there, in old France, vis-à-vis with Javert, their fingers had brushed when she had given him a cup of tea _andhewasconcernedforher_!!!

Just a second later she felt disgusted with herself for acting like a bloody Mary-Sue. Desperately, she tried to concentrate on something else. Javert…Valjean…the note. Valvert! She was going to witness Valvert action firsthand! She could not wait for it.

“What about you, Inspector?”, she tried to bring that subject on, “What have you on your agenda for today? Haven’t you mentioned a meeting with the mayor?”

“Yes, Madame”, Javert answered with a slight frown, “The report is due today. Though I am not sure I mentioned that.”

“Oh, maybe I had just a lucky guess”, Elinor retreated hastily. She had to be careful. He _was_ Javert, after all. That said everything.

Javert kept his skeptical look and took a sip of the tea. “However, I have to hurry. I should not keep Monsieur Madeleine waiting.”

That sounded promising, Elinor thought, and was determined to sneak after Javert to witness the meeting of Javert and Valjean. What else could a shipping fangirl hope for?  
_________________  
Jesse was still very confused when she arrived at the factory. France. Old France. To be precise, Montreuil-sur-Mer. It was the town of Jean Valjean and Javert, damnit! Not real! Fiction! And yet, she had found herself with access to memories which were not her own. And those memories told her to go to work like every morning.

The crux of the matter? She was the secretary of the bloody mayor! The secretary of Jean Valjean alias Monsieur Madeleine! What. The. Hell?! Of course, she could not even have dreamed of this scenario to happen, but she still felt giddy and awkward and excited at the same time. She would sit in the first row, being able to watch her one true pairing, just like the letter on her night table had promised. As the inspector, Javert would have to meet the mayor many times and the mayor of course needed his secretary at his side. That solved all your problems, as long as you were an avid shipper of those two men. As Jesse was with all her heart.

Said heart began to pound faster the more stairs she climbed towards the office of her boss, Monsieur Madeleine. Taking a deep breath, she knocked twice and then entered the room.

“Monsieur Madeleine”, she greeted with a nod nearly resembling a slight bow and a lump in the throat. Wow, she really stood in front of Jean Valjean. It was an exciting feeling to know who this man actually was.

“Good Morning, Marie”, the mayor responded with a small smile and looked up from his paperwork for a moment to acknowledge her, “I hope you are as well as always.”

“Of course, Monsieur”, Jesse smiled. It was difficult not to grin from ear to ear. This was amazing. She had access to the secretary’s memories which would be great help for her daily tasks. Aside from that she only had to sit back and enjoy the show.

As if on command, there was a sharp knock on the mayor’s door. “Come in”, Madeleine called out and looked up at the same time as Jesse to see Javert entering the room.

“Good morning, Monsieur le Maire. Mademoiselle.”

“Ah, Javert. Please, take a seat. Marie, would you mind preparing a cup of tea for the inspector-“

“That won’t be necessary, Monsieur”, Javert cut in while pointedly stalled behind the offered chair, “There is but short time I can spare before I attend to my duties. As much as I appreciate the thought”, he indicated a nod towards Jesse, “I have to decline.”

Jesse was very disappointed. The two of them did not even exchange a warm glance or a small knowing smile. Nothing but cold business between the mayor and his inspector.

This could not be the entire tension for the week, Jesse decided. She wanted to have fun and drool over France’s “two oldest virgins” flirting with each other. What kind of lover’s spite the two may have gotten into, Jesse was adamant to clear that out as soon as possible, come what may.

Once Javert has started on his report about recent pickpocketing, Jesse went to her desk and sat down. Grasping for a piece of paper and a pencil, she discreetly watched the two men. Absentmindedly, she started sketching the scene in front of her. It was very inspiring to have the originals in front of her. 

Though, without noticing it, she soon had a few discrepancies in her picture; the two men were not leaning forward to each other that much, Valjean’s face held not an expression that soft and Javert surely did not look down with a coy smile. That smile he had shown when the mayor had given him the rosary.

Said rosary, Jesse suddenly noticed, was dangling out of Javert’s trouser pocket. There, hope was not lost, after all.

With a wicked smile Jesse put away the pencil, threw a last glance on the picture and then folded it neatly to put it into a pocket of her dress. She had gotten distracted with her fanart when she could have enjoyed the persons live. She would not do this twice. Hands folded, her chin resting on top of them, she watched the mayor and the inspector discussing intensely.

The more she looked, the more she observed. Little things came to her notice she had not registered before. For example the way Madeleine’s eyes were roaming over Javert’s body whenever Javert looked away from his superior for a moment. On the other hand Javert, despite ducking his head, was leaning a tad forward, as if he was unexplainably drawn towards the mayor like a magnet to another. The air was thick with the emotions their eyes held when they believed themselves unobserved. How could they not notice?!

Jesse could have melted there, on the spot. This scene in front of her was giving her all sorts of mushy feelings and warmth spreading in her belly.

Those two were just meant to be. And Jesse would be damned if she did not take her part in making it happen. What could there be better, after all, than waking up in old France, playing matchmaker for your one true pairing?

Not doing it alone would have been awesome, but she could hardly walk up to one of the women in Montreuil-sur-Mer and start chattering to her about the cuteness of Valvert. She would be declared mad.  
_________________  
After Javert had finished his report, he left but not without bowing in front of the mayor first and Jesse afterwards. It went not unnoticed that the bow in front of Madeleine was deeper and that his eyes held a gleam which had only to do with the presence of the other man.

As soon as the policeman had left the room, Jesse excused herself for a moment a followed him. She found him again quickly enough to see his left hand brush over the rosary. She suppressed a girlishly delighted squeak and decided that she needed a short moment to cool her head before she could go back to work.

So, Jesse went outside to get a bit of fresh air, following Javert a few steps more until he vanished into another alleyway. Giving in to her inner fangirl, Jesse fell a decision and sneaked off to follow the man. At the corner of the street, she yelped when she suddenly bumped into another person and landed on her bum. For a horrible moment she dreaded that it was Javert she had run into – how should she explain that she had followed him?! But then she noticed to her relief another woman in front of her who held out her hand to help her up.

“Thank you”, Jesse smiled and took the hand. On her feet again, she brushed off the dust from her dress.  
“No problem, I’m sorry for knocking you over”, the other one laughed good-naturedly. Suddenly, she bent down and picked something up. “Is this yours?” When she held up the center of her interest, Jesse’s heart fluttered. It was her sketching of Valjean and Javert. Dread filled her when the young woman unfolded the paper and glanced at it.

Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head when she took in the picture. She swallowed, then looked up to Jesse. “What do you know about the phrase ‘Valvert’?”, she asked very quietly.

Jesse gasped, overjoyed. “You, too, fellow shipper?”

“Yes”, the answer was a delighted squeal, “The name’s Elinor. You?”

“Jesse”, she replied. They beamed at each other before hugging each other, just out of joy over meeting another one dedicated to The Cause. “I’m Valj- _Monsieur Madeleine’s_ secretary.”

“Oh my god!”, Elinor gushed, “I am Javert’s landlady.”

“Really?!”

“Yup. Is there UST between them?”

“You have no idea”, Jesse muttered, shaking her head disbelievingly, “I just witnessed a meeting of them.”

“Spill the beans, Jesse”, Elinor demanded excitedly, “Out with all the saucy details.”

“There are none”, Jesse wailed in a playfully dramatic fashion, “They are not together.”

“WHAT?!”

“Shhht!”

“Sorry, sorry. But; what?”, Elinor looked desperate, “How can they not be together, they are meant to be!”

“Well, then we’ve got to do something about that, right?”, Jesse asked with a mad grin.

The grin spread over Elinor’s face, too. “Oooh, you’ve got matchmaking in your mind?”

“Exactly. Are you in?”

“That they may see them safe in each other’s arms! I will never rest till then. This I swear, this I swear by the stars”, Elinor sang quietly a butchered version of the ending of ‘Stars’ which made Jesse shake with laughter.

“Brilliant, we’ve got to make a plan, though.”

“Yeah, we only have one week’s time.”

“Let’s meet in the afternoon, I should probably better head back to the factory.”

Elinor nodded in understanding. “Sure. When and where?”

Jenny flashed her a grin. Now it was her turn for abusing quotes and the whole wide range of the fandom’s creations.

“I’ll leave you a note at the marketplace with the information as soon as I can. You’ll recognize it, I promise.”

“What will you write for a disguise?”

“Something only Valvert shippers can understand. The name our little motion will have.”

“Fangirling over France’s two oldest virgins?”, Elinor supplied dryly, yet grinning.

Jesse snorted. “Subtle, very subtle, Elinor.”

“Yup, that’s me. No, hold on, I got it! What about ‘Fuck the Police’?”, Elinor asked innocently.

“Are you mad?”, Jesse gave a mix of laughing and yelping, “Javert would arrest us for that one without knowing the meaning behind that! No, we shall be…TCSSCB, ‘The Club Supporting Star-Crossed Buns’.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet the third shipper.

Hannah was enjoying herself immensely when she wandered through the busy streets of Montreuil-sur-Mer. Now that she had overcome the initial shock a notorious single was expected to have when waking up next to a man who she suddenly remembered distantly as her husband, she was sure there could have happened nothing better to her. She had yet to discover in which cupboard her favourite French men hid their dirty laundry. Or, so to say, their bunch of baguettes.

But it was only a matter of time until she would cross the men’s paths. They were the mayor and the head of police of this town, after all. They were bound to be seen in the town. Maybe Javert on patrol would ‘coincidentally’ meet the mayor who was out to bestow his charity and money on the poorer ones.  


Hannah’s mind was overflowing with ideas, one better than the other.

And she had to find a bunch of people. In that lovely little note there were more shippers mentioned who were also there in Montreuil-sur-Mer. The mayor’s housekeeper and Javert’s landlady, for example. The only problem was that Hannah’s host, the wife of the town’s baker, had many customers every day and it appeared that she could not be bothered to remember more than a little bunch of names and faces. But what the heck, when Hannah set her mind on something, she would get her will.

Reminding herself of that, she strolled across the marketplace, silently humming The Confrontation to herself. She still could not believe that fate would have been so cruel to set her into a married woman’s body. Hannah loved her freedom without a partner and here she was bound to a man she did not even know! The problem was, she did know him. She remembered him. And the love of Gabrielle for her husband. Though Hannah had believed to be mocked at first, when she remembered the name of her ‘husband’. Jean-Luc Picard. What. The. Heck?! She had not landed in an episode of Star Trek, after all, but in Les Misérable.

Hannah was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard a familiar sound. A low whistling. The whistling itself was nothing remarkable, but the tune the whistle was following was most extraordinary for the little town of Montreuil-sur-Mer. It sounded a suspicious lot like Rihanna’s Umbrella. Although Hannah held no particular liking towards that song, she could not help but grin stupidly in the direction of a young woman who was whistling the familiar song.

She wanted to squeal and rush up to the other woman and crush her to the ground, hugging her breathless, but even Hannah realized that would have been unacceptable and very suspicious behaviour in the 1800s.

Instead she decided to follow the woman quietly until she would find a quiet corner where to reveal herself.

Sadly enough, her fellow time traveler showed no intention of leaving the marketplace quickly. Instead, she went to the public notice board.

Hannah watched her studying one particular piece of paper very intently. Driven by curiosity, Hannah glanced at the paper herself. A neat, swung handwriting told ‘The Club Supporting Star-Crossed Buns; the first meeting for our little club shall be today at 4 p.m. before the factory of the bready part’. 

Excitement bubbled up in Hannah. Star-crossed buns. She knew what that meant. Other Valvert shippers had already discovered each other and arranged a secret code for communication. Hannah was happy to speak the same language as her fellow shippers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, that's it. A short chapter, I know. The next one will be longer. Tell me what you like better, shorter chapters and faster updates or longer chapters and slower updates.


	3. Chapter 3

She had to be in the factory for five more minutes! Jesse could not wait for the work to be over. Working with Valjean was pleasant and she enjoyed herself immensely, but it would be a hundred times better if she knew that Valjean and Javert would not avoid spending time together alone but avoiding other people who might disturb their time.

As a consequence, she had to see to that, so these two thick-headed stubborn men would get a shove in the right direction.

She could not wait for the meeting with Elinor, her new-found partner in crime. As a team, surely they would get their favourite French men together in record’s time. There was nothing a determined woman could not do. So imagine what two of them could achieve!

“Marie, are you alright?”, Valjean’s voice cut through Jesse’s thoughts.

She blinked rapidly to refocus on the present and on her boss who had just asked her a question. “Yes, of course I am, Monsieur”, she smiled.

“Good”, the mayor looked not entirely convinced, though, “You seem quite distant today. Absent-minded. Is there something bothering you I could help with?”

_Yes_ , Jesse wanted to tell him exasperatedly, _You could just get your balls together and kiss Javert senseless the next time you see him_! But of course she knew she had to be more subtle about that. So she decided to keep silent about her plans for the mayor and the inspector.

“No, Monsieur”, she said decidedly, “There is nothing bothering me”, she decided to risk a tentative shot, “But what about you? If I may be so bold, you don’t seem so focused on your work, either, after Inspector Javert left.” Some preliminary work could not hurt, after all.

Valjean’s concerned frown dropped in an instant and his eyes shimmered with what Jesse only could name as the look of someone who had been caught in the act of something he tried desperately to hide. Sadly, she could not tell if it was his true identity or his feelings for Javert. “Marie, please”, he tried to cover his slip up with a scoff. Jesse nearly expected a ‘Don’t be ridiculous’. “There is no reason why the good inspector would cause my mind any discomfort.”

“Really, Monsieur?”, Jesse could not help herself but question his words, “So you are never concerned for him? Javert is the most dedicated policeman you can imagine and he is doing a very dangerous job. He could be hurt so easily, the way he always rushes towards the danger. And he is such a fine man, don’t you agree?”

“Yes”, Valjean nodded with a far-away look, “Yes, he is.” After a moment, he seemed to remember Jesse’s presence and he cleared his throat, “But you should not forget that Inspector Javert is a very skilled and competent man who can look after himself. There is no need to worry.”

“So you have not noticed the way he held his left arm last week?”, Jesse asked innocently, “It surely was strained, as careful as he was.” She knew that was a lie, but desperate times called for desperate measures. In war and love, everything was allowed, after all.

“Are you sure, Marie?” The mayor’s surprised and concerned face told Jesse everything she needed to know.

“Oui, Monsieur”, she nodded, “Even today he still held it quite stiffly.”

“Isn’t he always stiff?”, Valjean obviously tried to get the conversation to a joking level.

_Tough luck_ , Jesse thought with grim determination. She was no one to give up easily. Though she was unsure of how far she could go. Valjean still was her superior and they were still in nineteenth century. So, she decided for a simple, quiet “No.”

“Pardon?”, Valjean frowned.

“I said ‘no’, Monsieur”, Jesse explained, “He relaxes when you smile at him.”

Valjean spluttered and seemed to think of a quick answer, but Jesse would have none of it. She was the one to have the last word in this conversation. So she rose from the chair with an innocent smile. “I believe the evening has arrived, Monsieur”, she announced to the still gaping Valjean, “And I have a meeting with a dear friend of mine. Good evening, Monsieur.” With that, she left a stunned Valjean to his thoughts about everything she had said.

With a triumphant bounce in her step, Jesse descended the stairs in the factory. _Phase one, accomplished_.  
_________________  
Elinor already waited in front of the entrance to the factory. She grinned excitedly when she spotted Jesse and motioned her to come over. “There you are”, she greeted the other one and threw a glance over her shoulder, “And, some new developments?”

“Well”, Jesse rubbed her neck sheepishly.

“What, what, what?”, Elinor nearly jumped up and down in excitement.

“I might have dropped a few hints at the mayor”, Jesse said with an even more sheepish smile.

“Brilliant! You have to tell me everything”, Elinor’s eyes held an excited gleam. “But not here”, she decided and grabbed Jesse’s hand to drag her across the street, “C’mon, we can go to my house. There we are alone. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be overheard about our star-crossed buns.”

Jesse nodded. “Good idea, lead the way.”

Little did they know that a third person trailed behind them in the shadows, following their way to the house of Madame Bonfaire.

Hannah smiled to herself, not yet revealing her presence to the other two women. She had found her fellow shippers, but that would not stop her from having a bit of fun.  
_________________   
Just when the other two entered a house – obviously their destination – Hannah decided it was time to introduce herself. She stepped up to the wooden front door and knocked.

Elinor opened the door and frowned at Hannah. “Hello, can I help you?”

“I am sure you can”, Hannah went for her most disarming smile, “May I come in? I have only got one or two questions.”

“Er…alright”, Elinor sighed and stepped aside so Hannah could enter the house. There she greeted Jesse with a nod.

“And what can I do for you?”, the Elinor asked again.

“Only a little question. What is it with this star-crossed buns?”

Jesse and Elinor glanced at each other quickly. “Er…sorry, but you are?...”, Jesse inquired insecurely.

Elinor looked the newly arrived woman up and down, filing through the landlady’s memories. “You are the baker’s wife, aren’t you?”

“Yep”, Hannah grinned, “And I’d love to join your little baking club.”

“Really?”, Jesse forced a smile on her face; she had no desire to start a cover-up baking club.

Hannah smiled devilishly. “Or whatever we’ll do with our star-crossed not yet lover-buns.”

“Sorry?”, Elinore spluttered, sure to have misheard the knowing undertone as well as those last words.

Now the grin spread across Hannah’s face openly. “It seems to me we may have met? Dat ass is not an ass I would forget”, she quoted one of her favourite kink meme comments. All she heard in response was a double squeal, then she felt herself nearly being crushed in a group hug by the other two women.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think, chapters about this lenght would make everyone happy, eh? ;)
> 
> Oh, and if you got ideas - no matter how crazy - what the girls could try to plan to get Javert and Valjean together, please send them to me! Maybe they'll even get into the story! Besides, I just love to hear stupid/crazy ideas.


	4. Chapter 4

“So, ladies”, Elinor began, “I hereby declare the first session of the Valvert Support, officially known as The Club Supporting Star-Crossed Buns, opened. Our goal: get justice and fate done and be the matchmakers our one true pairing definitely needs. I mean, come on, you have seen the two of them.”

“You can cut the UST with a knife”, Jesse commented, “And I should know, I already was in the same room with the two of them.”

Hannah sighed. “If only Javert weren’t that distrusting. We could get them together in an instant.”

“But we only have a week!”, Jesse wailed playfully dramatic, “And I want to enjoy the fruits of our work for a bit.”

“Agreed”, Hannah nodded vigorously, “I want at least one hot kiss to witness. With tongue and everything.”

“How do you want to do that?”, Elinor asked astounded, “Hiding in Valjean’s cupboard?”

“Why not?”, Jesse giggled, “I bet I could convince Valjean’s housekeeper to let us in; I recall the two of us getting along very well.”

“Maybe someone else to our cause?”, Hannah proposed hopefully.

“Could be, something like that was written in the letter”, Elinor recalled excitedly, “We’ve got to check on that one.”

“Yes!”, Jesse nodded, “We could throw around a few implications in her presence.”

“Javert and Valjean have to be there, too.”

“Sure, everything to make innuendos in their presence.”

“We could get Javert all flustered!”, Hannah grinned, “I think it will be fun to rile him up.”

“Oh, it’s easy to make Valjean blush, too”, Jesse laughed, “You should have seen him today.”

“First of all”, Elinor decided, “We need the two of them to spend more time together.”

“As much as I agree with you”, Jesse commented, “How do you do want to do that?”

“Let’s lock them up in a cupboard!”, Hannah yelled gleefully.

Elinor snorted. “Only when we get desperate. That can be plan B, alright?”

“Aw, man”, Hannah sulked, “I want to push them in a cupboard and lock the door.”

“Who doesn’t want to?”, Jesse shrugged.

“It’s too extreme”, Elinor said exasperatedly, “Let’s begin with something subtle.”

Jesse sighed dramatically and threw her arms up. “Do you want me to tell Valjean that he needs a report twice a day or what?”

“That’s way too obvious”, Hannah interceded, “We need a reason for Javert to report to Valjean more often.”

“You want us to commit a serious crime?!”, Elinor yelped, “We can’t!”

“No, silly”, Hannah laughed and shoved Elinor’s shoulder in a friendly manner, “But we can arrange a crime scene. Jesse, d’you think we can make it look like there was a break-in at the factory?”

Jesse’s face brightened. “That’s brilliant! Should be easy to break the lock of the backdoor and make a mess, maybe hide some stuff so that it looks like a robbery.”

“Javert would spend all the time at the factory”, Elinor nodded in agreement.

“I bet he would do everything to get the thieves”, Hannah explained, “And he’ll always keep Valjean up to date. It’s his factory, after all. And without the possibility to check fingerprints we should be safe.”

“I don’t like it”, Elinor frowned after a moment of thinking, “What if someone sees us?”

“Elinor, do you want to get the two of them together or not?”, Hannah pressed.

“Of course!”, Elinor exclaimed indignantly, “But I’m afraid that Javert is not stupid! What if he finds out we did it?”

“Then Jesse will talk with _Monsieur le Maire_ and everything will be fine”, Hannah shrugged.

“And then Javert won’t talk with us or Madeleine again except for the bare minimum and they’ll never get together in this week”, Elinor predicted.

“Don’t be such a pessimist”, Jesse rolled her eyes, “We’ll try it. You can keep the watch for us if you don’t want to ‘break’ into the factory.”

“Alright, alright, I’m in”, Elinor mumbled grumpily, “But I don’t like it and when this goes horribly wrong, I’ll claim the right to say ‘told you so’ as often as I want while we are in jail.”

“And what is the alternative?”, Hannah asked, “Hexing Javert into an omega in heat and deliver him at Valjean’s home?”

Jesse snorted and ended up in a coughing fit when her snorting and giggling got too much. Elinor cracked a smile, too, and joined Jesse and Hannah in their laughter. “Great plan.”

“Yeah, innit?”, Hannah flashed her a broad smile, “Valjean could have his wicked ways with Javert who would not even complain and then be bonded to Valjean forever as his omega.”

“Wow, you sure like it dirty, don’t you?”, Jesse asked with an amused grin.

Hannah shrugged, not at all bothered. “I gazed into the kink meme and the kink meme gazed into me.”

“Alright, ladies”, Elinor clapped her hands one time, “Let’s break into the factory. Tonight, I think. What do we have to do?”

The three of them sat together, each of them planning a theoretical break-in for the first – and hopefully last – time of their life. If someone, for example a certain police inspector on patrol, had passed the house, he would have been able to listen to three women discussing the best of several ways to break down a massive wooden door. And all that just to get two men spend more time together. It was astounding to what lengths a matchmaker was ready to go.  
_________________________  
The next morning, a very tired, but very smug Jesse climbed the stairs to the mayor’s office. Opening the door, she was already greeted by the sight of Valjean and Javert, both sitting at the mayor’s desk and discussing intently.

“Umm…good morning”, she more asked than said with an insecure tone she was very proud of. So attending to the theater club at school had been good for something, after all.

The two men looked up to her, Valjean’s face grave, the inspector’s face hard as stone and unreadable. “Good morning, Mademoiselle”, Javert bowed his head shortly before he looked once again at the mayor who showed the attempt of a smile. It looked very pained.

“Good morning, Marie”, he said, “I am afraid we have to deal with bad news. Last night the factory got robbed.”

“No”, Jesse gave all she had of an actress to appear genuinely and convincingly shocked, “You mean-”

“Exactly”, Valjean nodded and Javert cleared his throat.

“It seems that last night some rapscallions got brave and broke down the back door”, Javert explained as the person of expertise on the field of hunting down criminals.

“I am confident that you will catch the culprits with your skills in next to no time”, Valjean smiled at Javert, whose fingers immediately started to fidget with the sleeves of his uniform. Jesse hid a smirk. The good inspector got nervous when Valjean smiled at him; how adorable!

“I am honoured by your trust, Monsieur le Maire”, Javert finally said, “And it is of course self-evident that this case has my top priority. Don’t worry, Monsieur, your factory will soon be safe again.”

There was no mistake. Javert’s lips twitched barely, but they twitched in the attempt of a smile of someone who had not smiled for too long and forgotten how it worked.

The need to squeal was overwhelming and Jesse could not help the little high-pitched sound that escaped her throat. Both men looked at her. Jesse felt her cheeks burning. She had to be red like a tomato. “Is everything alright, Marie?”, Valjean asked with concern.

Jesse coughed awkwardly and cleared her throat. “Yes, of course”, she nodded, “It’s just something I would not have expected to happen.”

“Don’t worry, Marie”, the mayor smiled soothingly, “I am perfectly sure that our dear inspector will ensure that we are safe.”

Javert’s sleeves were tormented by fidgeting fingers once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay! RL has been throwing things at me. I'll try to keep it with updating once a month for now, until things look better again.

**Author's Note:**

> So, there are not all of ou shippers yet. The rest of them will come up when the time and chapters arrive. I hope this was not too bad to read and you'll come back for the next chapter.


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